Piratical Monday - Hetalia

Ahoy there! Here we are with the second Piratical Monday, comes round fast doesn't it? So what have I unearthed this week? Hetalia is an anime series of five minute episodes with the premise that all the world's countries are people. It may not sound the most promising premise, but for small, bite-sized chunks of funniness (with a sprinkling of history too no less) it fits the bill. One word of warning however, this is not for the easily offended. The anime frequently makes use of stereotypes to an extent, however, it is all in good fun. Everyone gets a dose of mockery as we make our way through the world wars among other things.

My personal favourite countries are Italy (as pictured, centre) who spends most of his time making alliances with Germany (much to Germany's irritation) as well as being adorable in the flashbacks to "Chibitalia" where Italy paints with his grandpa Rome and generally becomes bullied by fellow countries. England (naturally) is another favourite of mine, particularly his relationships with America and France. (Which frequently had me giggling with amusement.) I'm also quite fond of the Scandinavian countries, particularly Sweden (and his relationship with Finland) and Denmark, (who just looks awesome!)

The first 4 episodes of the Axis Powers season are available on youtube in both Subs and Dub. However, the dialogue in each version differs slightly in concern to jokes, however the plot overall remains the same.

On a smaller note, I love the ending theme! Which is worrying it when you start singing it whenever you're walking about anywhere. All in all, Hetalia is well worth a try. (particularly if you're a bored history student) But for now, this is Scamp, Peruser of the tomes, do not consume in large doses.

Space Journal - Day 2

Good news everyone! I'm alive...I think. I'm writing this anyway. And it seems there is life on the other side of a black hole. I followed the distress signal to a nearby planet and I must say, alternate realities aren't what they're cracked up to be. Everything's the same! Well, apart from everyone having cat-like tails and behaviour, and the fact that Earth was blown up two centuries ago. But where was I? Ah yes, I landed on a planet (which freaked out the natives, they seemed to be approximately average to Earth's development in the early 19th Century.) However, I luckily managed to be accepted into their society via a rather roundabout series of soirees at the estates of much of the landed gentry in the immediate area. But, I feel I must confide in this here diary, about one of the gentlemen I met during one of these seemingly endless bloody balls they keep having, (and all that dancing) for I overheard him making slanderous comments about my lack of a tail before going off to "mark his territory" around the grounds. I was most repulsed. (I fear too that my use of "carry on" style humour did little to ease the tension.) Furthermore, the natives seem to busy themselves fretting over marriage arrangements and minor gossip over how some dreadfully boring woman can't crochet. From these rough field notes I can safely deduce that this land is populated by a bunch of po-faced bastards. I can only hope that I trace this distress signal fast and escape this dour planet. I fear that I too may soon become interested Lady Catherine's polite encounters with Mr. Hartley rather than the fact that I was to be forced into a frock coat and go to laugh at the peasants...

Fandom Friday - Geek achievements

Lists are good. Lists are simple, unfortunately this list will also be packed with as many feats of fandom/geekery that I can think of, so let's see:

1: I have edited a wiki (but not the Wikipedia)

2: I have created a fan moveset several fan movesets for a Final Fantasy game (Dissidia if you're interested)

3: I seem to have an uncanny knack for spotting actors on TV, naming them and listing their previous roles.

4: I own a box set of a relatively obsure anime.

5: I have entered debates on the relative merits of game characters.

6: I have written (half of) a fanfiction. (again, Dissidia)

7: I have arranged my DVD collection once in order of age rating, secondly in Genre.

8: I have attempted to imitate an anime character's mannerisms.

9: I have had to close a webpage of Amazon down due to one bad review of one of my favourite games, in order to quell an intense anger.

10: I can quote most of the TV series/games that I have seen/played.

11: Furthermore I can provide a synopsis of the plot for each episode of said series'.

12: I have multiple game soundtracks on my iPod.

13: I have compared friends to an RPG setting.

14: I regularly browse DeviantArt for fanart.

15: I can name over 200 pokemon.

16: I have awaited a letter from Hogwarts. (A since discontinued practice upon reaching 12 years old)

17: I have harboured hopes that some fictional characters would be real.

18: I am currently teaching myself another language for no other reason than boredom.

19: I secretly refer to scientists as alchemists in my head.

20: I have considered the most suitable Job Class for my personality. (It's a Bard by the way)

Wow. I didn't expect it to be that long. Turns out I'm worse than I first thought. Anyway, I'd love to hear your own geek achievements down there in that little comment box. This is Scamp, peruser of tomes complete with Bard Tunic, +5 to Perform stat!

Hijack Thursday - Cause hijacking is harder than it sounds...

[This week's guest post is written by Scattered_Laura of scatteredfigments.blogspot.com. Check out her fabulous blog and follow her. She has no real friends and is, instead, collecting blog-followers! She is ever so slightly mad, which makes her ever so slightly more awesome than she already is!]

Okay. Your very own Squiriferous Scamp has asked me to hijack his blog. I'm not sure his asking nicely and my agreeing equally nicely really constitutes a hijack... maybe I should pretend I have a cutlass. Cutlasses are hijacky, right? Right. I have a cutlass. Watch out. 

*Brandishes cutlass*

*Falls over*

*Stabs self in the eye*

...

*One trip to the hospital and an eye-patch later...*

Right. I'm back! So... what was I doing? Oh right! I'm hijacking this here blog. With my cutlass. Te he. 

*Eyes cutlass dubiously*

So today I want to talk to you about something ever-so serious and grown up. It is an issue which is close to my heart. An issue which concerns each and every human being on this planet.

Hmm. Before I start blogging, I'm just going to pop and get myself a drink. You know...to get the creative juices flowing. 

*Wanders away to the kitchen*

*Sees various empty bottles*

*Reluctantly reaches for the only bottle which has anything left in it. Rum.*

*Realises there are no mixers in the house. Straight rum it is then...*

Right. Ahem. I've got myself a nice cup of tea now [hic], so I'm feeling all creative and ready to [hic] blog.

*Pours another*

Sho. I like bloggging. And Im the won who [hic] originally got Scamp into the hole bloggin thing. That was a while bak now. 

*And another...*

The thing iss... Cal's blog is better [hic] than mine! He'sh funnier and I just bet he'll end up wiv moor followingers than me. And then, you no what'sh gonna [hic] happen?! I'll tell you! He's gonna forget about me, thas wha! He'sh gonna forget about good ol' me while he'sh a wurld faymuss bloggist with a gajillion followus! [hic]

Iss not bleedin' right! Iss not FAIR!

*Waves cutlass around and starts sipping rum directly from the bottle*

*Slips on a puddle of spilled rum*

*Cuts off leg with an errant swish of the cutlass*

...

*One trip to the hospital and a peg leg later... still clutching the rum...*

Rite! Thas it! Im no lettin you get the better ov me, Scamp, you scurvy devil! [hic] Im takin' over! Thish blog is mine now! Arrrrrr!

*Hijacks blog*

Bard Corner - Me in three songs

With what is definitely not indecision of song choice on my part What with this blog being new and all I decided I'd set myself the challenge of summing up my personality in 3 songs. (You're welcome to try the challenge yourself, just post 'em down the bottom there, I do love it when I get comments!) So, here be those 3 songs:

This first song, wierdly is probably what I'd consider the song of my childhood. Playing Final Fantasy VII with my mum (A game I couldn't recommend highly enough by the way) when this music came on. One of my enduring favourite boss battle pieces of all time and still I remember Cloud facing off against Rufus Shinra. I could probably put the entire soundtracks from all of these games down but this one in particular has a special place. It's not the greatest in the game but certainly qualifies. (Plus everyone must surely have wanted to have an epic little track playing during some point in their life, or is that just me?)

A fairly recent discovery for me, I really love the sheer joy that runs through the entirety of the track. There's not much else to say really about this other than I love it.

Once again back to Japan. I've been wondering what captured the oddness I sometimes spout (generally as a result of the fact that I don't actually think about half of what I'm about to say) and all I can really think of is this. It's like nothing else in my fairly varied musical tastes and so I thought that this fitted the bill. And as a side note, nothing is quite as bizarre as baking muffins with this on your iPod.

So there you have it, the music that makes me, or thereabouts. If I think about it too much I may change them all again. So for now, as I always sign my posts, this is Scamp, peruser of the tomes, blessed by the fictional cutlery lord himself, Ike.

Review reliquary - Uncharted 2

With the latest installment of Uncharted due out this Autumn, I decided it was time for a replay of it's predecessor: Uncharted 2. First and foremost, this is an interactive movie. This would be quite happy in a cinema near you (which it will be too, but then again Drake may be irreversibly ruined there...)* If you're a fan of epic gunfights against remarkably detailed backdrops then don't bother with the rest of this review, dive in! Bottom line is that it's a great game at any rate.


But of course that wouldn't be a review. Most critics will probably hold up the fact that this game is essentially a modern-day Indiana Jones, which it is, complete with hordes of a surprising amount of same nationality enemies (Seriously, surely there can't be that many eastern-European mercenaries about. Also, how do we know these are the cheapest mercenaries? Isn't there a comparethemercenary.com or something? Or is this just me reading too much into a simple goodies vs. baddies storyline?) Villain financial arrangements aside, the storyline is an enjoyable romp and so what if it's an Indiana Jones copy. I actually like that. Our main character is Nathan "Nate" Drake, a dashing (see up there? There's your standard "dashing" look to the camera) American explorer and thief, oh and he's descended from Sir Francis Drake too. (As Indiana Jones too was so well known for his Elizabethan England connections no doubt.) Thankfully he isn't particularly afflicted with a pained past like so many protagonists these days, in fact he's remarkably upbeat for the entire game.

Last time we were on the trail of Drake's lost treasure. This time around the game's considerably more epic as we search for Marco Polo and the "Cintamani Stone" of Hindu and Buddhist legend. Joining him on his epic quest is Chloe, a feisty Aussie, who by and large bucks the trend of generally whiny companion with "Love interest" emblazoned in neon writing above her head. She can hold her own in battle and doesn't hesitate to dish out cold truths when necessary. As a counterpoint to her sometimes harsh reaction to those around her is Elena. I'm not sure why I've never warmed to Elena, again she doesn't fall into the "damsel in distress" stereotype and yet I still find myself mildly irritated by her, enough so that my hopes were dashed by the end of the game. Either way, they are both decent companions whose repartee with Drake keeps the game bobbing along nicely.

Facing our heroes are Serbian war criminal Lazaravic, head villain visiting various destruction in Drake's general direction. There's not really much to say about him because overall he does very little other than menace. More unforgivable is minor villain Harry Flynn. In general I resent villains being relegated to sounding as if they've been brought up in the most well-to-do areas of the South-East of England. Even more annoying is the insistence that said posh bloke will betray our hero and side with the highest bidder. Why is it that on the one hand we're portrayed as untrustworthy turncoats and on the other hand proclaimed to have a sexy accent. The mind boggles.

Anyway. Gameplay doesn't get more solid than this. Movement is fluid and realistic and thank all ye gods, the cover system doesn't have me dying every 5 minutes cause it won't stick to a wall. In fact, the most remarkable fact of this game it's polish. You won't catch yourself shouting and throwing controllers about anything else but the infuriatingly difficult "Crushing" setting which forces you to re-think strategies that previously allowed you to mow down enemies left right and centre. That being said, you'll generally be finding Drake to be most effective at clearing enemies. Both Chloe and Elena are mostly along for moral support, ocaissionally firing a few shots at your enemies, but little else. Another highlight is the multiplayer modes. They vary from "king of the hill" and "capture the flag" to straightforward kill everything in sight matches. This adds some replayability to the game, using maps lifted out of the story mode to wage large wars against the online hordes. If however, you kind of suck at beating real people (like me) you'll find the co-op missions also provided to be of much more fun. Challenging even on their easiest difficulty settings, you'll find slightly harder than average hordes to fight against with a friend or two.

Overall, Uncharted is a great game that is one of the reasons it's worth buying a PS3 (security disasters aside) So go on. If you haven't already, buy it. It was one of the highlights of 2009 and Uncharted 3 is bound to be the same for 2011. So for now, this is the Scamp, Peruser of tomes, coming to a blog near you.

*Yes! Drake is due on our screens...sometime...portrayed by Mark Wahlberg. Sorry, but Nolan North makes Drake, Drake. oh well, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that Kevin McNally (previously starring as Mr. Gibbs in pirates of the Caribbean) is Sully. I have a feeling he'd be perfect for the role;

Piratical Monday - Amelie

Ah, the first Piratical Monday. This week I've delved into the wonderful world of foreign language films. For some reason whenever I mention one of my favourite films, Amelie, there seems to be a look of surprise when people realise it's in French. Sure subtitles take a short while to get used to, but once you're five minutes or so in, you'll most likely be reading and watching no problem. And it's a shame that films such as these can get neglected. Just like any other film they can be both good and bad, but sometimes you'll find a real cracker. And so this week my hidden gem is Amelie.

Amelie Poulain has led a sheltered life - educated at home by over-protective parents, she retreats into a fantasy world of her own. When she finally leaves home and finds work as a waitress in a Parisian cafe, life is pretty uneventful until a chain of extroadinary events lead her to the discovery of a tin box containing a schoolboy's long forgotten mementos. It is then that Amelie discovers her true vocation in life - helping others find love and happiness - which she sets about in her own unique and magical way. When Amelie falles in love herself, she realises that making neat solutions is not always as easy as it seems...

This film is a light-hearted story, full of essentially unimportant but nonetheless fun side plots. No you won't have great revelations during this film but enjoy it for the sweet romance that grows between Amelie and Nino, the man who it seems, spends most of his free time digging out thrown away photos from under the photobooths. (Yeah, it sounds creepy, but somehow the film manages to evaporate what would otherwise be considered a pretty worrying hobby.) Particular highlights include Amelie's delicious revenge upon the cruel greengrocer and the small pleasures strewn throughout the film. All this is told in beautiful cinematography and accompanied by a wonderful soundtrack by Yann Tiersen.

So there you have it. At only £4 or so at Amazon you can't really go wrong.

P.S. Sweet Romance/Comedies not your cup of tea? Try Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth if you fancy darker fare.

This is Scamp, Peruser of the tomes Part-Human, Part-Mallard.

HAPPY VIEWING!

Space Journal - Day 1

An epic quest has begun! Having wandered deep space for many months now, no companion but Computer, I had begun to think if there really was any profit to be made as a galactic community police force. I had been assigned a sector of 100,000,000,000 metres squared to police. Population: 7. But today Computer recieved a distress call, (recited in the standard New Zealand accent common to all galactic police forces.) It directed us to an area of space we hadn't traversed before, though that may be due to the bloody great Black Hole present in the area. Even as I write this, we are being sucked into it's gravitational vortex. Bits of my brain feel tuesday, and I'm pretty sure six of my eight senses are being mixed up. Computer seems to have begun reciting "knees up mother brown" And I'm beginning to talk in 0001111011001111010111. It's a one way trip to the unknown. This distress call had better be urgent...

Welcome Aboard!

Well here it is, day one on board this here blog. With any luck we'll be laughing long into the future. If not...Well at least I'll be rambling about something in this tinpot craft. Anyway, here you'll find many products of a person with too much time on their hands. Be it reviews, rants, my latest adventure into the cosmos or simply a little thing I found through the wonderful web, it'll be here.

Me? Well what is there to say? I'm the Scamp, buckling swash since 1994. (Not the best of nicknames I know, but what can you do?) I live in Wales: land of poetry, rain and sheep. (Come visit! We have landscape and accents and stuff!) I used to frequent the Final Fantasy wiki for a bit, the occaisonal edit here and there, but nothing serious. But beware blog viewers! There be the land of edit counts and dangerous levels of fandom! But that's a rant for another time...

So without further ado, here is the blog schedule:

Piratical Mondays - Yarr! This here's where I plan to share those wonderful little treasures on the internet I just can't wait to share with ya!

The Review Reliquary - Updated every tuesday, this is gonna be the place where I review STUFF. Be they games, books, art etc. I'll do my best to say exactly what I think about it.

Bard Corner - Work getting you down? Or just that mid-week feeling? Not to worry! I'm on hand to provide music spouted from my patented Bard-O-Tron 3000, built specifically with no-one in particular in mind.

Hijack Thursday - Feeling the need to spread the word about something? Maybe you'd like to rant? Rave about an amazing book you got? Or do you want to advertise your latest achievement? Here's where you can tell us all about it. Over the weeks I'll be on the lookout for guest bloggers. If you're interested, further details can be found at the bottom of the post.

Fandom Friday - As a fan of several things myself I'm bound to have something to say about the games, books etc. that I love. Be it kind or critical, nobody knows, we'll find out when we get there!

Saturday Saga - An installment every week, I'll be charting my latest adventure in the cosmos. Everything from alternate realities to wild-west showdowns I'll update you with my latest delusions  epic tale.

Sunday Siesta - Captain's break. Is there anything else to say?

Regarding Hijack Thursday: You can participate in this feature through two methods: I may email you with an offer of a place in the feature, in which case you can feel free to decline or accept (although I'd love you to share your thoughts here!) Or alternatively you can email me at thetinypickaxe@hotmail.co.uk with your proposed post. Full blog feature must be emailed to me by wednesday at the latest so as I have time to proof-read it and upload it to the blog for everyone's reading pleasure. I retain the final decision on whether or not your feature will be posted. (although in all likelihood it probably will be. You're great just for visiting my little blog) For any questions, drop me a line and I'll do my best to answer them. So until next time, this is Scamp, peruser of the tomes, now available in 5-D.