Review Reliquary - Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Ahoy there! Sure this here review is late, but it's here now, Savvy? Anyway, this week is the latest pirates of the Caribbean, in 3D no less. (Which, I'll admit had as much effect as a colouring book does on world art. 3D is secretly a ploy by which cinema staff are allowed the slight amusement of seeing customers in silly glasses, and by now even that amusement must be wearing thin.) As ever, Johnny Depp steals the show as Cap'n Jack Sparrow now on the hunt for the fountain of youth, or at least I think he is, he seemed more to be tagging along with love of his past Angelica.

Anyway, this time's piratey foe is in the form of Blackbeard, legendary pirate, and competent in voodoo too. (What with the East India Trade Company a tad blown up in last time's adventure I imagine he's had time for a few nightclasses in the supernatural to fill in the time.) Unlike Davy Jones, or Barbossa before him, I didn't find Blackbeard to have much presence as a villain, hell he doesn't even do much more than top one of his entirely mutinous crew during the course of the film, as a vague indication of general villainy I suppose. In fact, even the mermaids are more fearsome than he. There ain't much Under the Sea sing-along with these lot, instead they'll feast on your corpse, having dragged you under. (Makes a change from shellfish every bloody day I suppose)

Captain Jack is pretty much all there is to this thoroughly swashbuckling romp. From hijinks in London with a distinctly Dursley George II, to standard Sparrow antics with Blackbeard and co. he is really all we're watching for, and Depp as ever performs marvellously. (Damn how I envy that London school he visited in character...)

Barbossa reappears as a Privateer, sporting a fetching peg leg, alongside Mr. Gibbs and another cameo from Keith Richards as Sparrow's father, however they all seem to have very little to do in the film, despite Barbossa being central to a "prophecy" mentioned about once in the entire film (unless I missed something) concerning Blackbeard. A new addition is Phillip Swift, missionary who I could spend a paragraph pointing out how bland he is, but why do so when he can be summed up as "meh"? There's some vague subplot involving him falling in love with a mermaid (despite the drowning and face eating problems of such a relationship but hey, he can dream) which I didn't pay much attention to.

Verdict? It doesn't really measure up to the first two outings, but this sequel feels less bloated with extraneous minutes, for which it avoids much more potential criticism I feel. The plot is generally quite bland with little more interest than Captain Jack and the odd pirate-eyness from Barbossa, yet strangely I enjoyed it, and, stranger still I wouldn't mind another outing for our favourite pirates. Don't examine it too closely. Just let it wash over you and you can spend a pleasant hour or two of easy entertainment. Brought to you by: Scamp, peruser of tomes, with a side order of swash.